Why I Don’t Care About #Womenagainstfeminism

After months of being a homeless transient, often literally living in a van, down by the river, I have a home and an internet connection. I have really missed blogging and podcasting with you folks for the last couple months, and I’m ready to come back with a vengeance. Ok, well maybe not totally. But I do think I have a perspective here that many of you might disagree with. So, without further intro, I’m back!

There are many, many things that annoy me, make me angry, and make me completely fucking irate. #womenagainstfeminism is sooooo not one of them. For those who haven’t heard, #womenagainstfeminism is a movement of women on twitter who are backlashing against things they perceive are tenants/outcomes of feminism. An example would be, #womenagainstfeminism because I can’t actually open my own pickle jar. Or, #womenagainstfeminism because I like getting treated like a woman. Or #womenagainstfeminism because men and women ARE different. Or, #womenagainstfeminism because I actually like my husband. Of course, not liking your husband isn’t a prerequisite to any type of feminism I know of, but the “man-hater” label has always (and maybe will always) been widely applied to feminists.

So why don’t I care that there is a movement of women against something I care so deeply about? There are several reasons:

1. #Womenagainstfeminism is feminist. Whether #womenagainstfeminism knows it or not, they are contributing in a deeply feminist act: binding together with other women on the shared belief that they are being oppressed in some way. That is the most feminist thing I can imagine. They are bucking a label put on them by society that they believe does not represent them and their interests. They are speaking out against men and women who believe they should behave a different way. Now, I’m not saying their view of what feminism is in any way resembles feminism today. I personally am really good at opening pickle jars because I’m not a fucking idiot. I can use grips, or a knife.

2. Their complaints against feminism are things that either once were somewhat true or are popularly held to be true. This is a tricky one. But also perhaps the most important one. Feminism for sure has a PR problem. Do feminists care? I don’t. Maybe some do. However, we can’t pretend that feminism is perceived in its infinite complexity by most people in the world. I don’t know if feminism needs to further address the fact that being feminist doesn’t mean being a man-hater. That seems to be over. But there was a time in feminist where it would be sacrilege to wear skirts. This of course was a response to a belief in society that all women had to wear skirts (when my mom first started college it was the dress code that women wear skirts). Feminists, and many women who may not see themselves as feminists, fought against this. I wear skirts almost every day. Because I like them. Feminist has nothing to do with whether or not you wear a skirt, but rather that you have the choice to do whatever you want. This is most of the backlash I’ve seen against the #: that feminism ensured you have a choice about all those things you are complaining about, such as being a stay at home mom, getting doors opened for you, or whatever. These women are calling their # “womenagainstfeminism,” but feminism isn’t their enemy. They are getting pressure from somewhere, however. Someone is sending the message it’s not ok to wear skirts, to love your husband, or to want to stay home. Someone is sending the message that it’s a betrayal to your gender or sex to need help opening a pickle jar. I don’t think it’s feminism, but it definitely falls under the umbrella of things feminism should be examining, because it seems many, many women are experiencing.

3. Historically, women have never, ever been on the same page about what women’s rights are, what feminism is, what it means to be a woman, or any of the main issues you would think we would tentatively agree on. We are different, and we need that difference. I don’t know what it means to be a woman. Do you need a vagina to be a woman? No. Do you have to identify as a woman? Maybe, but society may still see you as a woman. Just as a myriad of people can be a woman, just as a myriad of people can be genderless, or even sexless, a myriad of people can be feminists. As I said earlier, the act of banding together with other women to make a political statement 1) is only possible because of actions taken by feminists in the past and 2) is itself a deeply feminist act. So, in the end, I’m not going to care that these women are doing feminism in a way I disagree with. Period.

 

Now, as a treat:

#womenagainstsuffrage

because I trust my husband to vote in both our interests

because I don’t want to bother following politics

because I’m just going to vote the same way as my husband anyway

because doubling every man’s vote just doesn’t make sense #math

because knitting > politics

 

(thanks codyreimer.com for helping with the #womenagainstsuffrage)

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