What Depression Quest Has to Teach Us About Living with Mental Illness

*Trigger Warning: brief discussions of suicide follow as well as discussions of depression below.*

The news of actor and comedian Robin Williams’ death by suicide came to my attention from all sides this week. My family was talking about it in person as it buzzed across the daily news. Across my social media dashes pictures, quotes, and text memorials streamed rapidly by. Many were shocked by the news, surprised that a comedian of his caliber would struggle with something like depression, particularly given his humorous outward demeanor. Amidst the recognition of the accomplishments of a man who went through a lifelong battle has also arisen conversations about depression as an illness and the importance of awareness of it an all mental illness. Never before have I seen so many people sharing links to to support hotlines or depression awareness websites.

Of course, even among the support there were certainly misinformed and offensive comments. Some wondered why a wealthy man with a vibrant and successful career would have anything to be depressed about. Some blamed it exclusively on his drug use or unsuccessful marriages. Others (including one notoriously bigoted radio talk show host) decried it as a weakness and insisted it was due to a culture of negativity and hyper-sensitivity. These opinions popped up not only from random trolls on the internet but in my own personal circles as well. So when I learned that Zoe Quinn was putting her interactive fiction game Depression Quest on Steam for free starting the day of Robin Williams’ suicide, I couldn’t help but think how games – or game-like creations – can be used as a way to create awareness and sensitivity for things like mental illness and those perspectives that are difficult or are rarely assumed in fiction.

In Depression Quest you play the role of an unnamed protagonist suffering from some of the telltale symptoms of depression: lethargy, lack of interest in hobbies, and a desire to remove oneself from social situations. Said protagonist is dragging themself through a lackluster and mundane job, struggling with self-doubt and a lack of worthiness in their romantic relationship, and feeling constantly emotionally drained. Throughout the game the player is offered various options that may result in a healthy or negative outcome or maybe even a mixture of both. These decisions affect to what extent the main character is depressed and, ultimately, the way they interact and are influenced by their environment. At any point, depending on how well the protagonist is feeling, certain options may be denied to you as the player. These are often responses that depression would take away and are usually straightforward and generally the “good” response one would give in the best of circumstances. Even those responses you might think would lead to some “good” or at least “better” outcome has unintended consequences and the same goes for the reverse.

Depression Quest’s biggest success rests in how well it invests you into the mind of a person battling depression and how it conveys the vicious cycle of negativity associated with depression that, once caught up in, can be difficult to escape. The depression casts an almost ominous and threatening light onto everything you come across: the people seem disingenuous and burdensome when they’re really genuinely interested in your well-being; the situations, especially social situations, seem more like obligations and less like opportunities. As I commented in the previous paragraph, things that you think would be good may only increase the character’s anxiety and lead to even more crippling self-doubt. Many people believe that they would be able to pull themselves out of depression easily but as the game shows by literally crossing out choices, certain mindsets are entirely impossible for a person with depression to be able to enter into.

Some accused Zoe Quinn of using Robin Williams’ suicide and the increased public attention to depression and suicide as a way to “cash in” or capitalize on the loss of a life. However it is precisely in this large spike of public attention and interest that this, and other games that tackle depression, excel. Instead of merely describing what people with depression go through and the mindsets involved, the game presents you with literal manifestations of the emotional or mental blockades one might face. The immersion of these games complete with their engaging perspective allows education of the symptoms, precursors, and consequences of depression to be crafted in a way that is more relatable and emphasizes the humanity in such a situation. It cuts right through “excuses” people have for why others go through depression and instead reveals that even the “good” situations are far from free of negative thoughts. Furthermore, Depression Quest simultaneously acts as a way to remind people suffering from depression not only that there is hope, but that there are options and steps they can take to help them recover, emphasizing things like using the support of friends and family, seeking counseling, and staying consistently on medication. As Zoe Quinn said:

“The fact that I’ve made something that makes people cry,” she said in 2013, “that makes them start taking their medication again, that makes them back off of suicide — I can’t quite process it. … But I’m really, really happy that I was able to make any kind of difference for someone else.”