#YesIPlay: Thoughts from an Adult Fan of LEGO

For an Adult Fan of LEGO (AFOL), the term dark ages refers to the time period between playing with LEGO as a child and picking it back up again, later, as an adult. I experienced such a dark age in both gaming and with LEGO. Although, I have no way of knowing for certain how long I was away from gaming and LEGO, I would guess there was probably about a 22-year gap in gaming, with a much longer one for LEGO, which started up again on February 13, 2013. My reentry into the worlds of gaming and LEGO were both somewhat accidental. The catalyst for picking up gaming came in the form of Netflix; the Xbox 360 was the first to allow streaming, and I had to have it. For LEGO, I was drawn to the shuttle set because I research NASA, and it’s a really cool set. At no point did I imagine that people would think anything about my playing games (I was wrong). Conversely, I felt defensive about LEGO from the moment I bought the shuttle at the then hefty price of $182. (Purchased with birthday money. I’m still a little defensive.)

My dad gifted me his Xbox 360, along with all of his games, after I told him how much I wanted Netflix. So, I wasn’t identifying with gamers, I just wanted some streaming TV. But, Dead Rising was in that pile of games, and I fell in love with that game, which sparked my dormant love for gaming. Soon after, I had a PSP and a Wii, and I was playing quite a lot. It was during this period that I started to experience weird interactions with people. I specifically remember an incident at Gamestop when I went to purchase a Silent Hill game for the PSP, and the cashier kept telling me over and over about the rating. I remember having a really hard time trying to figure out why this person kept talking to me about ratings. Eventually, I realized he thought I was buying it for my child, and I got a weird look when I told him it was for me. That’s just a minor incident compared to what a lot of other female gamers experiences, but I think it speaks to the assumptions people often make. I have been largely able to avoid more common problems that affect female gamers because I’m in a pretty insulated grad-school environment, surrounded by people who do not think it’s weird that I play games. And, I don’t play games online. But, I have experienced a lot of weird interactions with non-gaming friends who mostly seem to think it’s weird that someone my age is still playing games.

I have experienced a lot more weirdness due to LEGO though. In part, it may be just my perception. As I mentioned, I can get a little defensive about it: LEGO is expensive and often seen as a toy. I have had to listen to a lot of comments about how expensive LEGO is, and some people probably think it’s irresponsible for a grad student to have such an expensive hobby. I don’t hear this as often with gaming, even though gaming can be just as expensive. Not that it’s anyone’s business, but 90% of my LEGO collection has been gifted to me in some form or another. I’m lucky in the sense that I have many friends and family that may not understand the obsession with LEGO, but they are willing to accept it (and, even purchase some of their own LEGO sets!). But, I know the expense and the perception that LEGO is a “toy” can carry a stigma. I read a lot of LEGO forums, and in them I see a lot of guilt, and a lot of women writing things like “I don’t identify as a AFOL, but…”

I’ve written several times about the overlap of gender issues in gaming and LEGO collecting. I’m very bothered by the division of “regular” LEGO and LEGO Friends sets. It represents a division between what some think children can and should be interested in. I remember playing with LEGO as a kid. I remember my blue LEGO storage box so clearly. I remember building all of the things that today would be found on the blue aisle, which at my Target is two aisles over from the pink LEGO aisle. I’m also bothered by the need of some people to police other people’s hobbies. I’m not young anymore, and I don’t have kids, so I can’t hide behind the “just buying these LEGO sets for my kids.” Every time I buy LEGO sets at Target, the cashier asks if I want a gift receipt. The question doesn’t really bother me as such, and I always say no. But, I’m bothered when an adult feels ashamed to say “Look, I bought this LEGO set for myself!”

I’m glad I ended my dark ages in both LEGO and gaming. Both hobbies are fun, but more than that, I think they offer me different ways to engage my mind, either through trying to strategize my way through a tough boss or by trying to build my own creation with LEGO and make it look like something remotely recognizable. So #yesIplay, and I will keep playing with both. I used to have an office and play at being adult. Now, I have a LEGO room (see above), and I’m much happier.